Taking Responsibility for your feelings and actions

Now, I first need to qualify this one. It was initially written on March 10 of this year...It was just the way I was feeling that day!

Recently I had a falling out with a very good friend of mine. This friend is upset with me because I did not disclose information to them which they felt I should have shared.

One of my roles in life is as a confidante, secret keeper. The friend that is upset with me has come to me many many times to confide in me, and I have not broken that trust. The same is true in this most recent incident. I was confided in, and didn't break that trust.

Now, the title is taking responsibility for your feelings and actions. I am very big on this. This situation I am referring to is a common occurance in many friends & family of mine right now. They have relationship problems, they come to me as a sounding board. I support them in listening to their problems, and being non judgemental about whatever decision they happen to make.

However there comes a time when you need to take responsibility for your actions and choices. If you choose to continue putting yourself in an unhealthy, toxic relationship, you cannot expect to get the same ammount of sympathy and understanding you might have gotten initially from your friends or confidantes. You must also be willing to accept the consequences of your actions.

Here's an example: I happen to date men who cheat on me. I don't know why, it's just always been that way. My most recent long term relationship was an "open" one so that he could feel good about him cheating on me. Rather then removing myself from the situation as soon as I realized it was unhealthy for me, I continued to try to make it work, I continued to try to make myself feel alright with the situation. Finally after nearly 3 years of living like this I simply walked away and never looked back.

The same needs to be true for all of those friends/family who are in similar situations, whether it be a psycho boyfriend, one who doesn't love you, or one who loves his poison more than he loves you. If you have given it everything you've got, you can honestly say that you have tried your best to make it work, and it still isn't, then you need to have balls and walk away so that you can move on with your life.

You cannot hold others responsible for the choices you make. You cannot be angry with someone for not telling you everything wrong with the relationship. Most likely they have already done that and you were just unwilling to listen.

Man up...either take responsibility and action yourself, or quit your bitching. I'm over it!